Too often I ask myself "What have I accomplished today with my art?" I always get the same answer. "What could you have accomplished?" Ouch! I finally understand it. It took some time, but I get it now. It's what I "could" have done but didn't. I so need help.
I just keep getting in my own way. One of the ways I get in my own way is that I procrastinate. When I procrastinate it means I am doubting my ability as an artist. I don't like doubting myself. When I doubt myself it shows in my work and man, that stings. We should never doubt ourselves. Self-confidence is the foundation of an artist. I just need to step out of my own way.
Doing unnecessary things that steals my time is another way I get in my own way. I love to listen to soothing music and meditate, but at times I do it too many times a day. That's not really necessary. I don't need to do internet searches for 2 hours or more a day, either. Maybe that's just another way of procrastinating. I could make a list of things I do on a daily basis that is unnecessary. I just need to step out of my own way.
Lacking focus. Sometimes I will get my painting table set up, sit down and start painting only to find myself thinking about other things like cooking dinner, what bills need to be paid, who I need to reply to in an email. The list goes on.
I need to just step out of my own way!
Choosing a bad time to work is another way I get in my own way. I pick a bad time of day when things start getting busy and chaotic. Sometimes I will get everything set up on the table, sit down to work and look at my watch. Oh crap! I'm only going to be able to paint for less than an hour before I have to start dinner.
Get out of the way!
Not being organized enough some days hurts. Anyone who knows me knows I'm an extremely organized person, but I have a habit of not organizing my "painting days." What's up with that?
Get out of the way!
Lack of interest or motivation. That's a real head scratcher because I love what I paint. I guess my mood dictates what interests me on any given day. That must be it. Sometimes I might be more interested in drawing than painting. Our interests change. I'm just starting to learn to draw so of course I would have high interest in that.
Step aside and get out of the way!
Making excuses for not practicing or maybe finishing something. I'm the "go to girl" for excuses. Trust me. I've even blamed my poor, precious, innocent cats for not working. I should be ashamed, but, hey, they can't talk to defend themselves so I guess I'm ok for now. How bright the sun is can be yet another good excuse. My favorite is the excuse that what I ate for lunch bloated me so bad I hurt and cannot work.
Lately, my excuse is that the Jodi Arias trial is on TV and watching a murderer get what's coming is more important than practicing right now. Am I lying? That excuse also works for why dinner is late so often. What's a gal to do? Let's see...Arias trial....cook dinner? Hmmm.
The trial of course. That was a no brainer, wasn’t it? Oh, and by the way those excuses work for why I've not started a painting project as well. I should write a book on convincing excuses.
Step out of the way (after the trial).
I guess I just need to really start journaling again so I can look back at my words at the end of each week and see how pathetic I am. I'm hanging my head in shame, but you cannot see me.
Enjoy Spring and please don't get in your way....or you will end up like me. Have mercy.