Aug 24, 2012

Sue's Views

Why Doesn’t He/She Like Me?
By Sue Hulen

After many years of blaming myself if someone didn’t’ like me I came to realize that not everyone is going to like me and I’m not going to like everyone else, either. Too bad it’s taken me so long to come to that conclusion.

One of the reasons, I believe, that some people may like someone is because we tend to be drawn to those who are like us in some (or many) ways. Maybe they’re like minded and share many of the same social views. Maybe they share the same interests in art or food. We don’t all think alike or all have the same tastes in music among many other things. That’s what makes life so interesting. Being different is a wonderful thing.

Another reason someone may not like you may be coming from a place of jealousy. I’m just generalizing and have no one individual in mind, but reality is just that….reality. There’s a lot of people who may have a low self-worth and feel they can’t paint as well, cook as well or do other things as well as the person they don’t like. Instead of bettering themselves in that particular area they feel envy. They may not even realize that they feel that way towards that person, but it is there. That jealousy/envy can then take the form of other negative feelings about that person, such as anger, and they then begin to search for reasons not to like them or what they do.

We really don’t need the approval of others, even though it is nice to have it, as long we have a healthy self-image. There will still be others who will respect and appreciate the things we do and the person we are and have struggled to become. Once we connect with that one “truth” we can allow that knowledge to replace the feelings of inadequacy from being concerned that there are those who don’t like us. Stay focused on the challenges and accomplishments and keep striving to be better at what you do and who you are.

Now, I have the attitude that “Hey, I may not like them either.” It’s OK not to like someone or for them not to like me. That’s life. No matter how popular someone may be there will always be some out there who will not like them. It’s certainly not the end of the world. In a perfect world we would all love and respect one another. Last time I checked we’re not there yet. I used to say to the father of my sons that if we were both exactly alike one of us would not be necessary.

Stay focused and just keep creating your art and your own life as you want them to be and don’t be too concerned about those who don’t like you. We could be analytical and make an attempt at trying to see why they don’t like us, but that would be such a waste of time. Does it matter in the end? No! We don’t have to dislike those who dislike us….we just don’t have to care so much that they don’t. Because someone feels that way towards us doesn’t make them a bad person any more than us not liking someone else makes us a bad person. We’re just humans with our own likes and dislikes and that’s the bottom line. Our differences is what makes life so interesting.

Spend time with those you like and be understanding of those you don’t… and of those who don’t like you. Life is not a popularity contest…..unless you are under the age of 30. : )

Be kind to someone today…and tomorrow.

Sue Hulen

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