Mar 30, 2010

Art from the Heart Jealously and Envy

Jealously and Envy The green eyed monster!
By Sharon Teal-Coray

Being in this business for years I have come across all types of people, but the ones that I have remembered the most are the ones that have a jealous nature. No doubt some of you will experience this if you haven’t already. How do we know when we are dealing with a jealous person? There are some signs we can look for but a lot of the time we can “feel” it in our bones.

A jealous person emit’s a very negative energy towards the person they are envious of. This will make you feel uncomfortable and edgy when you are around them. Let’s say that you have just won an award, your friends and I mean real friends are happy for you and show it by congratulating you. The jealous person becomes quiet; they avert their eyes from you they are being absorbed by the flames of jealousy so it is hard to feel happiness for you. They may even walk away because it pains them to see you have something they don’t have and they want very badly.

Some even become openly mean putting you down before others. They try as hard as they can to get you down to their level. I have heard some say that I won an award because I painted like the judge and that was the only reason I won. This sort of thing can be very hurtful but we need to know how to handle it because believe me it will happen. Some jealous people will just get away from the other person who they are jealous of but then we have the one that is just waiting for you to lose your new achievement and get it for themselves. They actually can become obsessed with this. Some jealous people will imitate what you are doing; they may do this in secret or may be out and out blatant about it. However, know this they can be very hurtful and scary. Being so obsessed with what you have may drive them to sabotage your efforts. They may lie about you, slander you, and in general just try to destroy you.

Something I found interesting is that jealousy is normally found among contemporaries or friends of equal social status. Rarely do we see this in higher social status than us or those who are distantly connected with us. A jealous person is constantly under a sense of discouraging aggravation and dissatisfaction. They may feel depressed or dismal; the misery of being jealous can be like a slow poison to their mental and physical health. Jealousy produces thoughts of fear, anxiety, insecurity, anger, sadness and revulsion. It can lead to guilt in the person who feels it. However, it can sometimes motivate the person to improve.

Jealously is an emotion that is familiar in human relationships. Researchers have found that it appears in infants five months old, and there are claims that are a civilization phenomenon found in all cultures.

Now that you know that a person is jealous of you, what do you do?

Here are some things I have tired, they may work or they may not but they are worth a try. I love to return their nasty behavior with a good deed towards them. Turn your enemy into your friend, put out the fire with water. Bless them and pray for them.

You can always just ignore them but this may be easier said than done. If you just remember that your time if more valuable than to waste it with things that are so negative. Ignore and detach.

The worst thing to do is to try to fight them; this just reduces you to their standards. Stay away from people who want to “gossip” about someone, this is usually a result of being envious. Stay way from revenge, it never works and believe me I have had some life experiences in this area and it always turned out bad and I mean bad!

If you experience jealously you can do a few things to help you, first realize that each of us are destined for something different than each other. Stop keeping track of others achievements. Stop looking at what they have that you don’t. This sort of constant thinking is going to result in damaging your peace of mind and happiness. Learn how to be happy with what you have in your life, look for your blessings. If you are not where you want to be then get out there and work at what you want. Be patient, with hard work you will be in the place you want to be eventually.

Focus on you, keep positive thoughts in your head and try to have good feelings for others success. Stop comparing yourself with others; realize that you are a unique creation from God. Your gift may be different from others, but it is a gift that God gave you so work on it and get it perfected. Do not waste your precious time in inactive and wretched envy. We all only have just so much time here so use yours wisely.

This will lead to a happier and healthier life for you and you family and friends!

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